SHE ALWAYS STANDS BEHIND

I saw a video online in which a very famous actress married a very famous actor, and his mother had this to say about her: "She always stands behind me and her husband. She doesn't push herself in front." I am paraphrasing here.

A successful woman is only a good woman if she doesn't enjoy her success.

The idea was not new.

The idea, however, became inextricably linked to the idea of quiet frustration that I had seen elsewhere, on the other end of the spectrum. A woman who I knew in my hometown who delivered milk on a cycle every day, wasn't allowed to wear a salwar kameez. She had to cycle in her sari, which would get tangled in the wheels of the cycle if she was not careful. The household that depended on her income, depended on her for their honour too. Walk behind. Don't presume. What you do is the reflection of who WE are.

What is the difference between the two people really?